The past few months have been heavy to say the least. I began writing this piece as a way of freeing myself from that weight, but as I sit here trying to refine it I realise that when it comes to the pain of Blackness, there are too many issues worthy of my attention and it isn’t possible for me to sum it up in one post.

So, we’ll call this number one of many. An outburst sparked by the overwhelming show of performative support on social media in the wake of George Floyd’s death.

At that time, the video of Floyd’s murder had been repeatedly broadcast and circulated on social media. Twitter was failing to warn its users of the sensitive content as it began trending on their news feeds. While news channels, like ITV and Sky, included snippets of Floyd’s death in their evening footage reel.

Apparently, we’ve normalised seeing violence committed against Black bodies and a nine-minute video of a man being brutally murdered isn’t quite disturbing enough to warrant discretion. A conversation within itself and one we are due to have in time.

But, for now I’ll touch on this one particular straw. Instagram.

Now, I’m not sure how to put this gently and so, I’ll just be blunt. It was as if Blackness threw a party on the platform and everyone wanted to be able to say that they were invited.

The date of the bash was Blackout Tuesday and the theme of the night was Fake.

Support in the form of blacked-out squares flooded our feeds with #BlackLivesMatter, #TheShowMustBeStopped, hashtag after hashtag, square after square. The aim of the blackout was to force us all to stop and think; your participation not only proving your solidarity, but furthering the movement’s efforts.

It was almost powerful, almost heart-warming and almost believable – only it was empty. The grand gesture followed by a resounding silence.

Don’t get me wrong, people were still posting. Only, the blank squares weren’t followed by posts about race and inequality, as you would have expected. No, instead they were followed by bikini photos from summer 2019, because Instagram’s favourite influencer couldn’t go on holiday this year and that L in so much more important than Black people dying.

None of it was genuine. In fact, for a large proportion, it was about saving face and preserving status because 1) no one wants to be called a racist and 2) a lot of people want to maintain their access to the culture. Prove that they’re ‘woke’, say that they went to the party, took that photo and posted it the next day as proof.

But, if we’re being honest here, posting black squares did nothing for us. In fact, we might as well have pulled a Trump and tweeted our ‘thoughts and prayers’. If anything, the emptiness of Blackout Tuesday was just another way for people to touch Blackness without actually feeling it.

It makes me think of Clara Amfo on her Radio 1 show when she quoted Amanda Seales saying, “you cannot enjoy the rhythm and ignore the blues”. And that sums it up in a way because, for me, social media’s latest display was yet another reminder that society wants Black culture, but it doesn’t want us.

It was a reminder that still, there are some who check into Blackness as if it were a hotel. Find comfort in our hospitality and warmth within our walls only to later checkout having trashed their room, emptied the minibar and not paid their dues.

It was a reminder that still, there are some who adopt and disregard racial and cultural characteristics as and when suits. Altering their appearance to mirror Blackness, their hair the braid that saw us shunned, shrunken to fit into a conformist box.

It was a reminder that still, there are some who will darken their skin in the bid for racial ambiguity. Go fishing for Blackness in a sea of traits, wear our features like accessories that you put on for Instagram and YouTube videos, then wipe off like makeup before they go to sleep. 

‘Thoughts and prayers’ people, ‘thoughts and prayers’.  

Anyway, being reminded of this got me thinking about something else I want to touch upon in the coming days. How some parts of the Black community, at times, have enabled this kind of appropriation.

How, much like wider society, we’ve been praising non-Black Women for having Black female features. Praising them for their full lips, darkened skin tones and altered bodies, where we’ve shamed Black Women for being born with those same lips, those same features, and naturally dark skin.

For years, we have been praising other Women for looking like they have a little bit of Black in them, but not too much. 

The cultural appropriation of Blackness is all about wanting to have that little bit of Black in you, but not too much, because racial ambiguity is desirable. Complete Blackness, on the other hand, is not.  

There’s a bigger discussion to be had here, but again, that’s tea for another day.

For now, I’ll end by reminding you to look out for each other, wash your hands, drink plenty of water and don’t forget call out racists. For many ‘the fight against racism’ trend has come to an end, but we all know that there’s still so much further to go.

Gosh, all that in response to a few Black squares. Who would have thought empty gestures could be so inspirational eh? *Sips Tea*